Squelaiche the Court Jester

Squelaiche is the patron of leprechauns, and the Court Jester of the Seelie Court. He is a trickster, but his jests and jibes always carry lessons to those they target. He is the only member of the Inner Circle who isn’t related to Titania.

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Squelaiche (PDF Version)
(The Court Jester, the Fool, the Storyteller, the Leprechaun God)
Demipower of the Planes, CN(G)

Portfolio:                 Trickery, illusions, storytelling, distraction, leprechauns
Aliases:                     None
Domain Name:           Wanders/the Seelie Court (End of the Rainbow)
Superior:                   Titania
Allies:                       Baravar Cloakshadow, Damh, Erevan Ilesere, Leira (dead), Nathair Sgiathach, the centaur pantheon (except Chitza-Atlan), the Seelie Court, the Seldarine, the Tuatha dé Danann (except Arawn, Math Mathonwy, and Morrigan)
Foes:                           Cegilune, Malar, the Queen of Air and Darkness, the goblinoid pantheons
Symbol:                     Clover leaf or pointed red hat
Wor. Align.:              NG, CG, N, CN

The Court Jester of the Seelie Court, Squelaiche (skell-LIE) is the impudent patron of leprechauns. He is a teller of stories and player of pranks, but his foolishness often has a point. He is cunning and wise in his jests, and any who underestimate him due to his antics are likely to end up tricked and embarrassed; as an accurate adage describes him, “He is a Fool, not a fool.”

As the jester of the Seelie Court, Squelaiche is able to get away with much that other residents cannot, even teasing Titania on occasionally. His jests, jokes, and stories serve a purpose in addition to and beyond levity, however, for he strives to ensure none of his fellow powers lose their mirth, their love, and their compassion. Often when he tells a joke seemingly at another’s expense, even his queen, it is to call out hypocrisy or remind them of a time they were in a situation that they have forgotten, to ensure they do not act harshly when compassion is needed. He is not above a laugh for laugh’s sake, and levity and mirth are their own reward in his eyes. Squelaiche is known to pull elaborate but benign pranks within the court that even his “victims” can’t help but laugh at. Outside the Seelie Court, however, his pranks and tricks serve as an added defensive measure against those who would intentionally or inadvertently harm the sylvan lands faerie folk hold dear. Frightful illusions and embarrassing or frustrating situations are his stock and trade in these situations, always designed to chase away intruders rather than harm them.

Unlike most of the other members of the Seelie Court’s Inner Circle, Squelaiche is not blood-kin of Titania and Oberon. His origins are mysterious, but the most common tale speaks of him being born from a magical plant in Arvandor. Some sages speculate that this indicates a tie to the elven powers, particularly Corellon Larethian or Rillifane Rallathil, whiles others point out that Arvandor is a more powerful and pure form of the natural sylvan environments that the faerie folk favor. Both groups agree that Squelaiche’s birth in this manner shows the close tie the Seelie Court has with the life-force of nature. A minor theory puts Squelaiche’s origin with the Tuatha de Danann, although few sages support this idea.

Myths and legends about Squelaiche are often humorous tales of the Leprechaun God tricking and deceiving big folk, such as humans, dwarves, giants, and goblinkin. Such tales often position the larger folk as avaricious, fumbling, and sometimes outright destructive. Squelaiche leads them on merry chases with promises or illusions of gold, invariably making the time spent and the risk of injury or embarrassment too great to be worth the treasure at the end, forcing the creatures to retreat from the sylvan lands. A few stories, usually ones involving humans or dwarves, portray the Leprechaun God as being captured, but escaping due to a distraction or a reward of a magical item that has significant downsides to the benefits it grants the holder. Squelaiche’s longer myths often involve other powers, many in companionship roles. His most common companions among the faerie folk are Nathair Sgiathach and Erevan Ilesere, while among elves he forms a trio with Erevan and Avachel and among the gnomes he occasionally joins Baravar Cloakshadow on his adventures. There is even one obscure dwarven myth about Vergadain and Squelaiche working together to foil a plan by Bargrivyek to unite a host of goblins and hobgoblins to conquer a dwarven mountain realm and the sylvan lands at it feet. Regardless of content or origin, all of his myths call out Squelaiche’s two great weaknesses: Good wine and shining gold. Both often serve as foils or major hurdles in achieving closure to his stories.

The Court Jester of the Seelie Court is an active and fun-loving rogue who is able to dispatch his avatar throughout the planes through Titania’s magic.  He is constantly on the lookout for opportunities to play pranks, mock lawful creatures, and make evil ones appear the fool and send them running. He is easily distracted by wine and gold, with either of them serving to disrupt his plans for mirth and fun. These weaknesses rarely lead to outright disaster, however. Ultimately, he is utterly chaotic, and while his attitudes are benign, he is completely unpredictable.

Squelaiche’s Avatar (Illusionist 22, Bard 20, Fighter 7)
Squelaiche appears as a handsome, bearded male leprechaun with red hair and sparkling emerald-green eyes. He typically wears a fine silk coat of red or green, dark stockings, and black boots, all festooned with gold thread, buttons, and buckles. He favors a red cap, either pointed or cocked with a small feather plume, and when visiting rainy or coastal lands, he uses a plain cloak of coarse wool. He draws his spells solely from the school of illusion/phantasm.

AC −2; MV 18; HP 110; THAC0 11; #AT 2
Dmg 1d3+4 (dagger +2, +2 spec bonus in dagger)
MR 35%; SZ S (2′)
Str 10, Dex 18, Con 14, Int 18, Wis 16, Cha 18
Spells W: 6/6/6/6/6/6/5/5/4*
Saves PPDM 8; RSW 3; PP 5; BW 7; Sp 4
* Numbers assume one extra illusion/phantasm spell per spell level.

Special Att/Def: Squelaiche wields a small, thin-bladed dagger +2 named Seanchas (shan-AH-as) that functions as a wand of illusion. He rarely uses it in melee, favoring the usage of his magic to trick and deceive foes from safe hiding places.

Unless he chooses to be seen, Squelaiche is invisible (as improved invisibility). At will, he can cast polymorph any (inanimate) object, ventriloquism, and improved phantasmal force, and twice per day each he can cast chaos, Leomund’s lamentable belaborment, and Tasha’s uncontrollable hideous laughter. He is sometimes accompanied by 1d12+6 leprechauns (30% chance normally), who tend to conceal themselves in the foliage around him. He can summon such a host once per day, but he never does so in order to fight. Within woodland environs, and for 10 turns after leaving, Squelaiche can cast detect charm, detect magic, detect invisibility, ESP, faerie fire, forget, know alignment, plant growth, speak with animals, and obscurement at will, and goodberry six times per day. In addition, he is able to pass without trace automatically, and move silently and hide in undergrowth (as hide in shadows) in such areas with a 95% success rate.

Squelaiche is immune to all enchantment/charm and illusion/phantasm spells, as well as caused wounds, poison, disease, death magic, polymorph attacks, and nonmagical weapons. Even if magically compelled, no sentient non-evil plants, non-evil faerie creatures, or normal woodland animals will attack him. However, outside of a sylvan environment, his magic resistance is halved and he suffers a +4 penalty to his Armor Class.

Finally, Squelaiche has two particular weaknesses: wine and gold. If offered fine wine (he is especially fond of elven vintages), he becomes garrulous and gives information of value unless he makes a Constitution check with a −2 penalty. This is modified by a further −1 penalty for each goblet or glass past the first, for a maximum of −6. What information he gives is left to the DM to determine, who should bear in mind that while he may be more indiscreet, his conversation is also rather interminable. Should Squelaiche be offered gold in excess of 1,000 gp, he must make a successful Wisdom check with a −4 penalty or offer information or a small service to those offering the bribe. This penalty is modified by a further −1 for each extra 1,000 gp value offered, to a maximum of −8. He never knowingly acts in a manner that would harm the Seelie Court and its followers, however.

Other Manifestations
Squelaiche’s manifestations are highly chaotic and it is said they are never the same twice. They usually offer some way for a follower to evade capture or foes and escape pursuit, with distractions, illusions, and traps common. He has never been known to manifest such powers to worshipers larger than pixies, however, seemingly believing that they need his direct intervention much less often than his smaller followers. It is said he will sometimes whisk away a larger follower to a conclave of leprechauns and clurichauns who can render aid, but those little creatures will always require some boon or service for their aid.

As a member of the Seelie Court, Squelaiche is served primarily by aasimon, asuras, and eladrins (especially coures), as well as burrowing mammals of all sorts, faerie dragons, hollyphants, luck eaters, moonstone dragons, and sunflies. He displays his favor through the discovery of buried crocks of gold coins, emeralds, rubies, rainbows, and four-leafed clover. A field of shamrocks (three-leafed clover) is also considered a beneficent sign, although much less so. Squelaiche only displays his displeasure through the sudden disappearance of a lucky find or treasured valuable.

The Church
Clergy:                      Clerics, specialty priests, illusionists, thieves, bards
Clergy’s Align.:      CG, CN
Turn Undead:           C: Yes, SP: No, Ill: No, T: No, B: No
Cmnd. Undead:         C: No, SP: No, Ill: No, T: No, B: No

All clerics and specialty priests of Squelaiche receive religion (Seelie Court) as a bonus nonweapon proficiency.

Squelaiche’s clergy are rascals, rogues, pranksters, and mischief-makers, although they direct their activities towards outsiders far more often than towards other faerie folk. As such they are looked upon far more favorably than the priesthood of Nathair Sgiathach, although the two groups are on good terms with each other. They are reliable agents in the defense of sylvan lands, however, although they usually act on their own initiative rather than taking suggestions from other faerie folk.

There are no known temples dedicated to Squelaiche, for his clergy is not organized and has little patience for the typical material trappings of faith. Even shrines are rare, found almost exclusively in locations considered holy to the Leprechaun God, especially sylvan pools fed by misty waterfalls that frequently display rainbows. Such shrines are almost impossible to locate for those outside the faith, for they are cleverly disguised among the natural environment. The shrines constitute a replica of a red pointed hat, often made of wood, located in a hollow tree, burrow, or small cave, and four-leafed clover can be found outside, hidden among a patch of regular clover. Many other races have legends that these locations are the sites of buried gold and treasure; any attempt to despoil a discovered shrine is met with frequent magical and mundane tricks and traps that usually are enough to make the effort not worthwhile.

The priesthood of Squelaiche utilizes no formal titles, with each member adopting a personal title that is often a pun, joke, or euphemism. Collectively, members of the clergy are known as Sylvan Pranksters. Specialty priests are called luchorpains. Males are drawn to Squelaiche’s service in somewhat higher numbers (58%) than females (42%). The vast majority of the Leprechaun God’s priesthood are specialty priests (86%), with much smaller numbers of illusionists (5%), bards (4%), clerics (3%), and thieves (2%) filling out the remainder. Likewise, the bulk of the clergy is composed of leprechauns (70%) and clurichauns (18%), with a small number of pixies (4%), sprites (4%), satyrs and other sylvan races (3%), and a smattering of other races (elves, gnomes, humans, etc.; 1%) also being drawn to his service.

Dogma: Humor and pranks fill the world with joy, while also humbling the arrogant. They can be used to remind those of their duties through embarrassment, and make fools of the greedy and the selfish. Never use humor to inflict pain or cruelty, for that is a betrayal of what it stands for. Share the joys of humor with those you care for, and use it to bring down those who put themselves on a pedestal.

Day-to-Day Activities: Members of Squelaiche’s clergy have little in the way of set routine. They spend their time having fun by playing pranks on others, telling jokes and stories, and enjoying the company of others. They rarely take their japery too far, and are good victims of such activities as well. If they detect an intrusion into their lands by those who would despoil the forests, they are quick to act, both to raise an alarm among other faerie folk and to try and drive off the interlopers with harmless but disorienting, frightening, or embarrassing traps and tricks.

Important Ceremonies/Holy Days: The Leprechaun God’s priesthood observes no formal ceremonies or holy days. Even on a personal level, no observances are held other than praying for spells. They view the act of playing a prank as a sort of informal worship, and they leave it at that.

Major Centers of Worship: There are no known locations sacred to the clergy of Squelaiche that would draw pilgrims or travelers.

Affiliated Orders: Squelaiche’s priesthood sponsors no martial or monastic orders, nor are there any guilds or collectives dedicated to him.

Priestly Vestments: Priests of Squelaiche have no formal raiment, but all favor high-quality cotton or silk clothing with a gold-buttoned coat and boots with gold buckles when presenting themselves as a member of the priesthood. Most also wear a conical or cocked hat made of felt, the former in red and the latter in black. The holy symbol used by the clergy is a gold four-leafed clover.

Adventuring Garb: The everyday and traveling wear of the priesthood is similar to that listed above, but concessions are made for more rugged cloth if the environment calls for it. They also wear coarse wool overcoats or cloaks if expecting inclement weather or wishing to somewhat disguise their finery. Armor is almost never worn by members of the priesthood, and they favor small, concealable weapons; mostly they trust to their magic to defend themselves.

Specialty Priests (Luchorpains)
Requirements:          Dexterity 12, Wisdom 9, Charisma 13
Prime Req.:                Dexterity, Wisdom
Alignment:                CN
Weapons:                   Any Size-S or smaller weapon
Armor:                       Leather, no shields
Major Spheres:         All, chaos, charm, guardian, healing, plant, sun, travelers, weather
Minor Spheres:         Animal, divination, protection, wards
Magical Items:         Same as clerics or thieves, plus see below
Req. Profs:                Cobbling
Bonus Profs:             Set snares or ventriloquism

  • While most luchorpains are leprechauns and clurichauns, almost any sylvan race, as well as elves, gnomes, halflings, and humans are allowed to join the clergy, although this is usually seen as quite strange by their fellows.
  • Luchorpains are not allowed to multiclass.
  • Luchorpains can select nonweapon proficiencies from the rogue group with no penalty.
  • Luchorpains have limited thieving skills as defined in the Limited Thieving Skills section of “Appendix 1: Demihuman Priests” of Demihuman Deities. [They have the thieving skill base scores as set out in the Player’s Handbook (including Dexterity, race, and armor adjustments), but gain no initial discretionary points. Each time a luchorpain gains a level, 20 points may be applied to thieving skills. No more than 15 points may be assigned to a single skill. Luchorpains cannot backstab as a thief, nor do they ever gain the ability to use magical scrolls that a thief does.] However, they have no ability to open locks, and cannot put points into the skill.
  • Luchorpains can use any magic item that generates illusions (such as wands of illusion, etc.) without penalty. This does not extend to wizard scrolls that contain illusion/phantasm spells.
  • Luchorpains gain twice the benefit of a luckstone, whether it is a permanent item or created from the spell below.
  • Luchorpains can detect hidden cache (as the 1st-level priest spell) at will.
  • Luchorpains can cast Squelaiche’s distraction (as the 3rd-level priest spell) once per week. This may only be used to escape capture; if it is used frivolously, Squelaiche will withhold spells and powers from the caster until they have atoned.
  • At 2nd level, luchorpains can cast shillelagh (as the 1st-level priest spell) or color spray or taunt (as the 1st-level wizard spells) once per day.
  • At 4th level, luchorpains can cast fool’s gold or Tasha’s uncontrollable hideous laughter (as the 2nd-level wizard spells) once per day.
  • At 6th level, luchorpains can cast reduce (as the 1st-level wizard spell) on others twice per day. This only affects the creature targeted, not their equipment or clothing, and the saving throw is made with a −1 penalty for every three levels the caster has achieved.
  • At 9th level, luchorpains can cast chaos or Leomund’s lamentable belaborment (as the 5th-level wizard spells) once per day.
  • At 15th level, luchorpains can create a permanent luckstone once per year. This process takes a full week of prayer and concentration.

Squelaichian Spells
1st Level
Detect Hidden Cache (Pr 1; Divination)
Sphere:                    Divination
Range:                     30 yds.
Components:           V, S
Duration:                 1 turn
Casting Time:          4
Area of Effect:         The caster
Saving Throw:        None

This spell is similar to the spell detect metals and minerals, but specialized in that it divines the location of caches of valuable items such as coins and jewelry. In order to detect such objects, the caster must remain still and concentrate for one round; the direction of any caches within the range will be made known to the caster at the end of the round. The spell does not indicate the distance, just the general location; the caster can use the duration of the spell to triangulate the caches. No information about the valuables is conveyed to the caster other than direction.

The caches this spell can detect fall into two categories: those that were unintentionally buried, or intentionally hidden. In the former case, the valuables must have been lost more than a year ago; it does not detect a pouch of coins dropped into a lake moments ago, for example. It can detect caches buried by landslides, bogs, collapsed buildings, unknowingly trampled into the mud, and the like. Those that have been intentionally hidden must be in a natural or rural environment, such as buried in the earth, hidden in a hollow tree, or buried with a corpse in an unmarked grave. It does not detect false bottoms in plainly visible chests or cabinets, or hidden panels in occupied buildings, even if the valuables were hidden decades in the past. Intentionally hidden caches that this spell can detect can be of any age; if the caster saw a bandit enter a copse of trees with a chest and leave twenty minutes later, this spell can find the chest, provided it holds valuables.

Only valuables of a certain volume can be found with this spell; it does not identify the location of every loose copper or silver piece that has fallen by the roadside over the years. Caches must contain worked items of silver, electrum, gold, or platinum in order to be detected; copper, mithril, and adamantine are never located, even if they are worth a small fortune, unless they contain a significant amount of one of the metals listed above. Caches must contain at least 100 coins, a single piece of jewelry worth at least 100 gp, or multiple pieces of jewelry worth at least 250 gp. Mixed caches can be located; the DM must determine if the cache is valuable enough if one doesn’t clearly match these listed criteria.

3rd Level
Squelaiche’s Distraction (Pr 3; Illusion/Phantasm)
Sphere:                    Charm
Range:                     30 yds.
Components:           V or V, S
Duration:                 Special
Casting Time:          1
Area of Effect:         Up to 1 creature per level
Saving Throw:        Neg.

When cast, this spell causes a moment’s distraction in a single creature or a group of targets, during which the caster blinks away and becomes invisible, as the spells of the same name. The nature of the distraction is simple and quick; something along the lines of “What’s that behind you?” or “Don’t look now but there’s a dragon coming this way!” are typical. Generally, the exact nature of the distraction doesn’t matter as the spell works on the instincts of the creature, but should the caster know of something that a target would particularly fear a penalty of up to −4 may apply to the saving throw, at the DM’s option. This spell only works on creatures of Low Intelligence or greater, although they need not share a language with the caster, although this grants a +2 bonus to the save. Regardless of the results of the save, the caster blinks away and becomes invisible, but those who succeed, or those who weren’t targeted see exactly where the caster blinked to, allowing them to put up a chase.

Squelaiche’s Distraction is usually used to escape capture, and as such it functions even if the caster is tied up or held by another creature, so long as they haven’t been silenced. Only the caster and their possessions blink away; manacles, ropes, and other magical restraints are left behind. In addition, if only one creature is targeted, they make their saving throw with a −6 penalty, although Wisdom defense adjustments apply.

This spell always fails against creatures engaged in combat with the caster, and the distraction does not disrupt spellcasting.

4th Level
Luckstone (Pr 4; Enchantment/Charm)
Sphere:                    Chaos
Range:                     Touch
Components:           V, S, M
Duration:                 1 turn/level
Casting Time:          1 turn
Area of Effect:         1 stone or gem
Saving Throw:        None

By means of this spell, a gem or smoothly-polished stone can be temporarily enchanted to act as a luckstone. For the duration, any creature carrying this stone on their person gains the benefits of the spell: a +1 (or +5% if applicable) to any checks involving saving, slipping, or dodging, or other situations involving avoiding adverse happenings and chance. The bonus is never applied to attack or damage rolls.

This temporary luckstone can be made permanent with the 8th-level permanency wizard spell, the 7th-level permanency prayer priest spell, or a priest of Squelaiche powerful enough to create magic items.

The material components for this spell are the priest’s holy symbol and a gem of any value or a smoothly polished stone of any sort, which is not consumed in the casting of this spell.

2 Responses to Squelaiche the Court Jester

  1. Barastir says:

    Another great entry, thanks! Curiously, I used a leprechaun in my game last Sunday, after a first appearance at the beginning of the campaign, more than 20 years ago!

    • AuldDragon says:

      The only time I’ve used a leprechaun was to make the priest of Erevan in my Spelljammer campaign a little more humble. ;D

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